For the first time in years (and I am talking more than 7) I felt the need to go out and celebrate. That's what people do right, they go out, grab a couple of mates, head out for a few drinkies and generally have a great time !!!
Yeah, so about that... I would like to share with you my personal Facebook status the morning after the night before.
Morning Loverlies !!!
Well it's the morning after the night before and I feel fine ... I had an amazing day yesterday and you all helped make it incredible ... Ps I'm saving all my messages tongue emoticon xoxox
A little disappointed over a couple of events of last night but fine none the less and feeling blessed and grateful to 2 wonderful people who joined me last night. G* and A* you are stars and I love you to pieces xoxox
In fact two events in particular have made me wonder whether going to That Pub again is ever in my list of things to do in BFL ... It may be in the future but honestly not for a long long long long long long long long time, and certainly not until there is full apology made in person to ALL of us both as a group and as individuals.
Any Staff member being positively obtuse and downright rude and then encouraging punters to do the same to 3 women is absolutely NOT ok ... oh yeah ... we were all completely sober too and just enjoying our time out.
Bullying behaviour on any level is not ok ... And that is what was experienced last night, both my friends were left in bits !!!
Me I don't give a flying rats about what people say to me ... If you want to behave like a cockhead that's on you, not me .... But bringing 2 grown women to tears is bullshit!!!
It completely floors me how some men can feel so empowered by belittling women who are out and not including them and want to rain on their parade and will stoop to any means to do this...
Our crime you ask ???
Laughing!!! Proper real belly cackles!!! At 8.15 outside while having a fag ... So when we came back after being up at the football club for an hour and a half ... That was what we were faced with ... Not to mention the nasty comments about one of my friends working across the road ... So that's where we went, because laughter there is encouraged and having a good time not frowned upon because you are women out enjoying themselves.
Yes, yes I know it was a long one, but I honestly feel it had to be to show the absolute gravity of this situation. It has also been edited, because I have no beef with the owners and I see no point in naming and shaming a good business due to the idiocy of one staff member.
Being the Saturday after New Years it is always quiet. We expect that and that is ok. We expect the men in the pub to banter a bit and banter is good and healthy and funny as hell. Our experience though had nothing to do with banter and in fact from the moment we walked in the energy was weird and unusual and honestly I didn't feel comfortable in there.
Maybe I felt a little more conspicuous due to my walking frame that evening. Maybe I felt uncomfortable being one of the only 3 women in the place that evening. Maybe I just fell into a trap of a "Bully Culture" we seem to make excuses for each and every day. Maybe I had to really think about what happened and realise why I was upset. This is what I discovered.
My first thoughts when I came out of the bathroom and walked into the shit storm was ... "Is my friend ok" my second thought was, " where the fucks my stuff cos like hell am I staying here !!!"
That told me alot about myself. The kind of thing like, I obviously care more about my friends than about starting a fight with a dick head. Which 20 years ago I woulda had his ass so fast on the floor he would still be trying to serve a the pint he was in mid pour of, before realising his nose was rammed to the back of his head.
Yeah ok I was a hothead I admit it. That comes from forcing your kids to bring themselves up !!!
I digress ....
The point being that injured or not his ass would've been grass and I would've left feeling better because he was nailed to the floor. Last night I left feeling better because I went to make sure my friends were ok and safe and left that dickhead with his dickhead punters who are all old enough to know better ... they all deserved each other.
I would like to know how they would feel if we had been their daughter, sister, mum, aunt, cousin or very close friend. Would they have behaved that way? How would they have behaved if we had been related in some way? Would it have made a difference? Would they defend a relative? Would they be the first to defend a relative?
Well I have news for them.
We are someones sister
We are someones mother
We are someones daughter
We are someones aunt
We are someones cousin
We are someones partner
We are someones close friend
And at the very least we are a human being with human emotions and feelings and frankly we are disgusted that you get pleasure from making women cry.
Even if you weren't one of the culprits think before you act...
Think before you say that thing, or join in with the crowd.
Think before you send that message or text asking for sexual favours.
Think before you don't stop your friends or pull them up for behaving like dicks !!!
Even if you see what is going on and don't stand up or say something to pull up your friends or the attacker, that makes you part of the problem. That makes you a bully by proxy.
Think about that...
My first thoughts when I came out of the bathroom and walked into the shit storm was ... "Is my friend ok" my second thought was, " where the fucks my stuff cos like hell am I staying here !!!"
That told me alot about myself. The kind of thing like, I obviously care more about my friends than about starting a fight with a dick head. Which 20 years ago I woulda had his ass so fast on the floor he would still be trying to serve a the pint he was in mid pour of, before realising his nose was rammed to the back of his head.
Yeah ok I was a hothead I admit it. That comes from forcing your kids to bring themselves up !!!
I digress ....
The point being that injured or not his ass would've been grass and I would've left feeling better because he was nailed to the floor. Last night I left feeling better because I went to make sure my friends were ok and safe and left that dickhead with his dickhead punters who are all old enough to know better ... they all deserved each other.
I would like to know how they would feel if we had been their daughter, sister, mum, aunt, cousin or very close friend. Would they have behaved that way? How would they have behaved if we had been related in some way? Would it have made a difference? Would they defend a relative? Would they be the first to defend a relative?
Well I have news for them.
We are someones sister
We are someones mother
We are someones daughter
We are someones aunt
We are someones cousin
We are someones partner
We are someones close friend
And at the very least we are a human being with human emotions and feelings and frankly we are disgusted that you get pleasure from making women cry.
Even if you weren't one of the culprits think before you act...
Think before you say that thing, or join in with the crowd.
Think before you send that message or text asking for sexual favours.
Think before you don't stop your friends or pull them up for behaving like dicks !!!
Even if you see what is going on and don't stand up or say something to pull up your friends or the attacker, that makes you part of the problem. That makes you a bully by proxy.
Think about that...
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